//This is all...//

I have a number of regrets regarding school. Always though I keep my reservations cool cause I still feel that in some way I am doing the right thing. Had I left school I feel like I would have met Ol' Dirty Bastard. I regret never seeking him out like Dylan did Woody. This video makes me miss Ol' Dirty Bastard. He was funny.



"If the monkey of time had climbed up the wrong tree where would time be now? Maybe strangled by a toxic vine made out of Mercury Goop!" - Allen Ginsberg






"And I do recall that my very best friends are the ones who left me empty and ready to be filled again" - Diane Cluck


I started studying economics a long time ago. A long time ago I started hoping for something. Hope always dies last.

"Why should you die to go to heaven? The Earth is already in space" - Killah Priest


Spoke to Alexandra in Sweden today.


This is the first music video I ever cried to. I was baby sitting and it must have been really weird for Devin and Danielle to see me cry for what would seem to be no reason at all. Also if you read the comments on this page its pretty obituary.



The Simple Truth
By Philip Levine

I bought a dollar and a half's worth of small red potatoes,
took them home, boiled them in their jackets
and ate them for dinner with a little butter and salt.
Then I walked through the dried fields
on the edge of town. In middle June the light
hung on in the dark furrows at my feet,
and in the mountain oaks overhead the birds
were gathering for the night, the jays and mockers
squawking back and forth, the finches still darting
into the dusty light. The woman who sold me
the potatoes was from Poland; she was someone
out of my childhood in a pink spangled sweater and sunglasses
praising the perfection of all her fruits and vegetables
at the road-side stand and urging me to taste
even the pale, raw sweet corn trucked all the way,
she swore, from New Jersey. "Eat, eat," she said,
"Even if you don't I'll say you did."
Some things
you know all your life. They are so simple and true
they must be said without elegance, meter and rhyme,
they must be laid on the table beside the salt shaker,
the glass of water, the absence of light gathering
in the shadows of picture frames, they must be
naked and alone, they must stand for themselves.
My friend Henri and I arrived at this together in 1965
before I went away, before he began to kill himself,
and the two of us to betray our love. Can you taste
what I'm saying? It is onions or potatoes, a pinch
of simple salt, the wealth of melting butter, it is obvious,
it stays in the back of your throat like a truth
you never uttered because the time was always wrong,
it stays there for the rest of your life, unspoken,
made of that dirt we call earth, that metal we call salt,
in a form we have no words for, and you live on it.

//Sables Chantans//

I really regret never having gone to Warren High School in San Antonio. I always wanted to go to an inner city high school where there would be legit ciphers and rap battles at lunch break and two-dollar house parties after school. Instead I got stuck with intelligent black kids who were not urban and straight ignorant black kids who were too violent. Damien who happened to be black was also my best friend for the time he spent at Thorn Secondary School but soon moved back to Malvern with his mother. I couldn’t visit him cause during this time Malvern was too dangerous to go to. Hell…when Damien came back to get his transcript he was too dangerous to talk to. He had three pagers and a cell phone and this is when no kids had cell phones. At least I could call him. Damien went on to have a baby with some white girl who he met and fell in love with at Wendy’s Hamburgers. It was a sad day when I congratulated him on his baby girl and afterwards asked how his aspirations to become a lawyer were going to which he replied, “The closest I am getting to a lawyer is standing beside one”. It was around this time when I traded in a lot of my Rap music for Cat Power and Blonde Redhead. I still ran the Afro-centric club even though it lost a lot of its meaning. I came to terms with the divide that existed. Sunset Park was a good movie but my parents would have moved my family to avoid such a school. Teens in Dangerous Minds were introduced to Bob Dylan at school I was introduced to Bob Dylan at birth on account of my father, Clockers had a lot of dialogue about drugs inside of Rodney Little’s barber shop the only time I ever heard drugs being discussed in my Mother’s salon was when Geoff Morris from my hockey team got addicted to weed. After the divide set in I only read Sartre’s preface to Wretched of the Earth and didn’t bother with Fanon’s book. But don’t fret! The divide came to a wonderful end one day when I met the lovely Bethany. Bethany was from Queens, New York and reminded me of Pam Grier. She was cool like Pam, dressed well and I wanted to marry her! To make a stupid story short, we went camping and while we were hiking I told Bethany a secret. It came off like a racist remark. Shit! However the history of Black people bifurcates and entangles itself with the history of crackers so much so that I found peaceable common ground. Hiking to our favorite spot at a beach in Tobermory I told Bethany “You are my second Black experience” to which she gave a very uncomfortable and shocked silence. I was sort of freaking out because we really didn’t know each other that well and I may have fucked up the next four days that I had with Bethany. On the purlieu of my existence came a rare moment that was exactly like beating an opponent in a rap battle. You come up with something astonishingly witty, a numinous quip and a powerful negation to a desolate lacuna. In one bar I ended all our suffering, it was very much like Whitney Houston singing Dolly Parton’s I Will Always Love You. The racial harmony we had so much sought for came to be. I told Bethany “Jimmy Hendrix was my first” and she laughed and we swam and drank beer in the hot summer sun and I got sun burnt and she did also but just a little bit!
P.S. Can’t Wait to see Bethany next summer!




Took this photo.

Didn't make this movie though.

//FUQ U//



Bloody called me a young man.

If Bloody was a girl I would surely fall in love him. Tall and gorgeous with a sweet Aryan look!
Lucky though I have my own sweet plum!


Being languid in the mornings is a sign that your mornings must be dull and that you haven't much to look forward to.